It's march..... last year at this time, i was unofficially graduated from SP.. and now, i am in NUS... time really flies... i was starting to work one year ago and didn't know what to do at work.. i remember i email him as he is in China... can't believe so many things changed over 1 year.. can u imagine? just 1 year.. from a very close 'couple' to just ordinary close friends now? how much things we been through in that 1 whole year? so much, so clear that i can remember almost every details of them.. too much memories.. at the same time, i was excited about the trip to Macau... so much things to do at that time.. early part of last year was an indeed a great start.. and many wonderful pages of my life being written.. these few days, i have been thinking about it.. i mean, maybe because i didn't have the taste of what is it like, therefore telling myself that it was a good thing that we didn't get tgt... to think back, it sounds a bit ridiculous but it's not wrong either.. i don't really see a common thing that we can work for or towards in the future.. i don't know is it the age is catching up on me to think this way.. i feel that i am not longer young to just do things on impulse and i have to consider what will happen next if i do this.. likewise, i don't know what will it be like if we were tgt.. i don't feel secure with a guy without any plans in mind for the future... sound a bit nonsensical right? but that's what i feel... it is like practically picking a future husband now.. it could be a case of sour grapes in one way of other bah.. oh well, i do feel a bit guilty after saying that.. in any case, it should not bother me anymore.. =) but there is just 1 thing: i can confidently say that i am 99% over him but that 1% remains and never go away... that 1% makes me think of the what ifs at times and just purely missing the memories.. well, still strong enough to withstand that so not of a problem at all.. i don't know how he feel but to me, these memories made are just shared between the two of us and i do believe it applies to all relationships.. even if the next guy comes along, it will never replace what i used to have with him.. it is the period of time in life that will stay as it is and the common memories that we have.. this is really interesting when i thought back about it.. bringing up all these with him do make me missed those crazy times and nights together.. whether he treasure it or not, it does matter at times but no longer my concerns for now.. as long as i am happy with myself, who cares.. hehe.. it may be to me the most unforgettable memories.. now, i am standing alone facing the world... from where i fell, i stood up and moved on alone.. it is sth that definitely make me stronger.. =)
this month is a busy month.. birthdays to attend and going for a short getaway with my lovely aunties!!! hehehe!!! just that, school work is piling up and really stressed of what to type in reports.. zzz... hopefully can just clear it asap... =)
